<TITLE>16. Par 59-62</TITLE>L-59 Then when I stood by the side of my wife, Hope, the mother of my boy Billy and my little girl Sharon, and seen her take a hold of my hands, while her dark eyes looked at me, and spoke of the place that she had just returned from, and desired to go back... And told me, "Never fail to preach this Gospel, Billy. You don't understand what a joy it is to go like this."
And a few hours after that, laying my hands on the head of my little dying baby yonder and placed it in the arms of the mother, when I said, "O God, I know that You raised the sap in the trees in the spring, and bring forth the bud and the fruit, and hide it in the ground while the winter's going on. You got to be God. And I believe with all my heart that this phenomenal Boy that was born in Galilee twenty hundred years ago, that as He walked around according to the Scriptures, to me He was the promised Messiah. No matter what they say, I believe it."...

L-60 "And I know that there's something within me that shows me things to come, that a supernatural Being appears. And I see things before it comes. And He warns me of such. But here I am without warning up against the thing here, and there lays the mother dead there, and there's papa laying out yonder. And now, You're going to take my little baby from my arms, God. Are You going to do that, take my darling?"
And the black sheet begin to fold before me. I knew He had done it. If the mainspring hadn't have been there then... Satan said to me, "Now what do you think of it? Even your darling little baby, He's going to take it from your arms: how cruel." That was the new spirit. That was the--all the intellectual...?... stood in my bones beating together.
I thought, "Where would I go? I would go out and get a little drunk."
"You never drink in your life."
"But I'd do it anyhow."
"He told you not to."
"But I'd do it anyhow. I'd show Him who was boss."
I said, "Satan, I can't. He's the Boss."

L-61 It was all down to the mainspring. I'm so glad there is a mainspring. When I walked up the road, and Mr. Isler, my family gone, I was going to walk up... I couldn't go to the grave; I was just walking up the road...?... not only, and Mr. Isler come up the road. He jumped out of the car, and he said, "Billy, I want to ask you something. I've seen you crying out yonder in that tent. I've heard you preaching and how you was so enthused on the message that you were bringing, and you were bringing to the people. Now, what does it mean to you now? Do you still love Him? Would you still say you'd serve Him?"
I said, "Mr. Isler, if He sent me to hell, I'd still love Him. For there has been something placed in here (See?), that it's not no longer I, but it's Him."

L-62 I was satisfied of this, but laying in the different graves from here over to the Walnut Ridge, straight to my family: my papa, my brother, my wife, my baby. And they were turning back to the dust of the earth from whence they come.
But I realize this, that they must've been here when the world was made, because they were taken from the earth. They were here when the earth was made. Our bodies were here before the earth was made, for we are of the earth. All that we are made of is calcium, potash, petroleum, cosmic light, atoms holding us together and somehow, by some mastermind we were made thus what we are. Not just a heaping together of potash, and calcium, and petroleum, but something got into the inside and begin to create, and I was made thus.


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